I am not the sanest person on the planet earth, so here's some things that I thought were funny. They are all original. Please do not reuse them without credit.
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Me: *stares at list of projects* Um, I have a lot of things...
Also Me: *decides to start new project*
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A: Looky, a pigeon!
B: A, that's a chicken. The pigeon is over there. *points in the opposite direction from A*
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C: *marching down the aisle at graduation* *hat slips* *written on hat* METALS LOSE ELECTRONS
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Oxygen: Eight is great! Eight is great!
Hydrogen 1: *offers to share its one electron with Oxygen* Ohh, I'm happy now
Oxygen: But I only have seven... Eight is great!
Hydrogen 2: *Also offers to share with Oxygen* Hi friend, look at me! I have enough valence electrons now!
Oxygen: Eight is so great... *snuggles with the shared electrons*
Me: *watches the exchange* Look, H20!
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Metal: *tosses electron to another metal* I lost it, I lost it!
Metal: *another electron flies its way* No! I had just lost it! *throws it at a random atom*
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*stops the science jokes* Hey, did you like those? They are based on things from my science class. So, not totally original. But the first too are!
Love "*marching down the aisle at graduation* *hat slips* *written on hat* METALS LOSE ELECTRONS"